A friend of mine once sent me a TED talk about the power of vulnerability which I watched with gratitude and awe. It was a really long time ago but the video highlighted the power of letting ourselves feel all range of emotions in order to live our life to the fullest.
Despite being so captivated by the video back then, I’ve found myself limiting the emotions I feel or at least making excuses when they’re not the “right” ones. I would overreact whenever my boyfriend hung out with his (what seemed to me) clingy friends. I would get angry and sad and every other shade of crazy. So my mom decided it would be helpful to go the school counselor where I could hopefully get tips on “controlling” my emotions. To my dismay, the lady I saw would repeatedly assure me that everything I feel is normal; that I need to learn to feel my feelings instead of try to control them.
Tonight, as a recurring family problem came up again I cried and cried. I kept telling myself that maybe I was crying because I had forgotten to take my birth control, because I was tired from work or I was stressed out about an assignment I have to complete. What I failed to realize was I was crying because I was sad. And that’s okay.
I am glad I can now recognize myself trying to cover up negative and uncomfortable feelings. I am also glad to realize that I can’t be happy all the time. I can only be human.